Jewish Time By Mordechai Schmutter

Mordechai Schmutter is the foremost Jewish humor writer, if by "Jewish" you mean "hands in all of his stuff in Jewish time."

 
In fact, as we write this, we are literally still waiting for him to hand in the Introduction to this book. We might have to go to press without it and then send it to you later. 

 
Here's what people are saying about Jewish time (the concept, not the book that no one's read yet):

 
WEDDING GUEST: "I hate it. If you announce a time, make things start at that time! I have places to be!"

 
YEKKE: "Personally, I find the term very offensive."

 
CHASSID: "I can give you an answer in like forty-five minutes."

YEKKE: "Wait. How did the wedding guest get here before me?"

 
CAMP COUNSELOR: "I wouldn't know. My watch is an hour off."

 
MOHEL: "Kvatter! KVATTER!!!"

 
NON-JEW: "Am I even allowed to say 'Jewish time'?"

 
YOUR COWORKER: "I can't believe it's already Pesach time. Just yesterday, it was Sukkos."

 
LOYAL READER: "Wasn't this book supposed to come out like five years ago? How is there a whole unit on Corona?"

 
NINTH MAN: "I was told I was the tenth man. Now I can't leave!"